A Mother's Love.

~A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months, in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die.~

"Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour I would die for you
This is the miracle of Mother's Love."

My Dearest Ian,

Today, you are two months old. It blows me away that you've been here, outside on this earth for two months already. And then still, you seem so much older than just two months. You're smiling so much, and even giggling a little. I am still getting to know you, but I can't even imagine not having you here with me, as if you always belonged.

A few weeks ago, I began to notice a flat spot beginning to form at the back part of your head. This worries me, because excessive flat spots in infants are linked with brain disorders. I try to give you more "tummy time" throughout the day, but you cry and get frustrated so quickly, that instead, I try to rest your tummy against mine, to comfort you.

I worry, far to much, about you. Especially at night, I worry that the blanket will cover your nose, or the congestion will cause you to stop breathing, and it's hard for me to sleep without one eye open. I blame the age of the internet, when all these articles and websites warn about SIDS, and you can easily try to self diagnose a problem, and immediately think that is what's wrong. For instance, the little red spots on your belly could either be a simple skin irritation, heat rash, strep throat, chicken pox or even the measles. It's very frustration, because while the internet can be your friend, it's also your biggest foe.

Your father sometimes gets frustrated with how much I worry. He wants me to relax, and enjoy you more. And I do enjoy you, so much. But, I also worry.

I hope that when you grow older, my worry will be interpreted into love. Because I always will love you.

Happy two months, baby boy.