You are turning one in sixteen days. In sixteen days, you will be a little boy instead of my baby, my precious, darling baby. Where did all the time go? I feel like it was stolen from me, and if I turn around, you'll be old enough to drive. How did that happen?
Today, you spent the evening with your godmother, Marissa. This woman has been more of family to me than my own family sometimes, she is a special soul, and I am so glad that you two have a mutual love for each other. She thinks you are the most special kid on earth, and you think she's an angel. I can see it in your eyes when you smile at her- you look like a smitten kitten!
Tomorrow, there will be a lot of people gathering to celebrate the love of you. Your Omi, your aunties, your cousin, your god mother, your mommy and daddy, and a lot of friends who care deeply about you. The one person who I expected to be there you will never meet again, and it hurts my heart to think about. My father, your grandfather, adored you like he adored no one else. He had your picture in his wallet, talked about you all the time, and asked about you constantly. I lost him three, almost four months ago, but sometimes it's still hard to admit it to myself.
I pray to all that is holy and true that you never have to go through the pain and grief that I have felt since my dad passed so unexpectedly. I hope that you are well into your senior years before your father and I pass- loosing my dad so young has burned my soul. I don't want you to feel that. I want you to be as happy, full of joy and curious as you are at this very moment- not tainted with pain as I am.
You are a very special little boy, Ian Kirkpatrick- I predict one day, you will do miraculous, amazing things, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mother, I'm saying it because I believe in you.
From our visit to the park yesterday. I love your goofy grin.
No comments:
Post a Comment